Joshua hurries into his room, quickly closing the door behind him. He sits on the bed, staring at the crumpled envelope in his hand. He takes a deep breath and opens it.
“I know its been awhile since we spoke, and that’s partly what kept me away. But recently, I’ve come to realize that decision was a mistake.
I won’t waste time blaming others. I left on my own accord, simple and plain. Your mother and I, we had problems, but in the end I made the decision to stay away. Our arguments became detrimental to everything. Not to mention her parents, constantly reminding me of my failings as a husband and father.
There I go again, trying to justify my fuckups. I hope you didn’t inherit that trait, because it’s a bitch to break! I just wanted you to know the truth.
You see, I was a dreamer. The kid with his head to the sky and his mind in the clouds. I always thought I was meant for something special; that God had some grand design for me and only me. And while I believed these thoughts, some people said I dreamed too much.
Your mother really believed in me. She supported whatever I set out to accomplish, no matter how illogical or unorthodox, even going against the will of her parents who became our lifeline after she became pregnant. I know you were too young to remember, but Grandma and Grandpa were the ones that bought you all those toys that Christmas, not us. You were so happy that day, happier than I’d ever seen you.
That’s the worst feeling in the world; getting married and promising a father that you’ll take care of his daughter, then three years later begging that same man for grocery money. It ripped me apart.
Eventually, they gave your mom an ultimatum; she could either leave me and move in with them, or stick with me and suffer. I made her decision easy. I walked out.
I joined the army, hoping to find not only myself, but salvation for a wasted life. I’ve missed you guys every second since, wondering about every aspect of your lives, to the point of it becoming a permanent fixture in my thoughts.
I just want you to know, despite the circumstances, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love you.”
Joshua becomes startled, dropping the letter as his mother enters the room.
“Josh, I thought I told you to check the mailbox?”
He stares at her as tears stream down his face.
******************************************************************
Inside a dark cellar in Iraq, a wounded soldier slowly raises his head as his captors enter the room.
He sees one of them holding a large blade.
His world goes black as a sack is placed over his head. Only one thought permeates his mind in those last fleeting moments; he hopes his letter got through.
